Christian Women With Depression

Support group for women dealing with depression, fear and anxiety

About Christian Women With Depression

Written By: Penny Haynes

Christian Women With Depression is simply a support site for women dealing with depression, fear and anxiety.  I have been a victim and victor, having dealt with those three foes, on and off,  since I was 12 years old.

If you are not a Christian, please do not hesitate to join us and share your story and ask for help.  I used the word “Christian” in the title because I want everyone to know that my adult-life struggles and my victories have been directly related to my Christian experience.  Personally, I don’t know of anything more heart-wrenching and hope-stealing than to lose your faith in God, or more specifically, lose the belief that God is a good God and that He loves me.

Therefore, there will be scriptures to encourage and enlighten, but you don’t have to subscribe to my point of view to participate.  You will be loved and accepted no matter what you believe or don’t believe.  I just want you to have peace and joy, and be rid of the debilitating effects of depression, fear and anxiety.

You can read my blog posts without having to sign up.  You can also download a very open and painfully honest ebook created by some women I know that details their struggles with self-esteem.  Some of them endured physical and sexual abuse.  Others just share their journey of pain, shame and guilt.  You can download these free resources at the Resources page.

But if you would like to share with other women who also struggle with these things, please join our private Facebook group. Go to http://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenwithdepression/ and request to join.  Without fail, everyone woman there says that simply by coming, sharing, and being accepted and encouraged has lightened the load.

So I hope you will join us if you have need of us. Please tell other women about this group as well, because you never know who is secretly dealing.  I look forward to getting to know you personally, and helping you experience victory in your struggles, whatever they may be.

Penny Haynes

16 Comments

  1. Dawn says:

    I pray to God every day asking for strength and guidance. Even though I’ve always tried to focus on the positive and be a giving, caring person, my depression is getting the best of me. I cry all the time. My husband cheated on me several times in the past year; I found out in August. Since last fall, he flooded me with ‘I think we should do a trial separation’ and I’d reply ‘Why, I love you?’. He had lost a lot of weight and felt like a new man. He cheated, did pornography online and started drinking heavily. In August, when he mentioned doing a separation, I asked ‘Why, are you cheating on me?’ and he said yes. I fell apart.

    On top of all this, I have a toxic mother who has broken my heart so many times and yet I try to be a good daughter to her. She refused to spend Christmas with me, preferring to be alone or more likely go over to a friend’s home.

    My support system is pray and my two wonderfully supportive daughters. Sadly, they live far away.

    My husband just left to go spend New Year’s Eve with his mother in another state. I am alone and don’t wish to bring anyone else down with my sadness. I am just so discouraged.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      Thank you so much for sharing how you are feeling. You must be in so much pain about this. I’m glad you are drawing close to God through prayer – I’m afraid I struggle with doing that when I’m suffering through my own issues. I invite you to join with several others on our Facebook group, Christian Women With Depression. We have been sharing the struggles we have been having, and it really helps to know you can share in a safe environment and have support from other people. Please ask to join at http://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenwithdepression. We can talk further there. Or if you like, I can start an email conversation with you. Let me know.

  2. NMS says:

    Dear Penny,

    I am a 25 year old Christian woman who has been dealing with depression, anxiety and fear since I was 14 years old. I have been to a psychiatrist and psychotherapist, and been on medication, however nothing helps. I cannot control my thoughts, and can’t seem to get myself out of feeling this way. Sometimes I feel fine for a few weeks then its a relapse. I dont enjoy anything in my life anymore, I have lost all hope. I pray all the time asking for faith, strength and hope. My husband is very supportive. I stopped driving 2 years ago due to anxiety. I feel i am crippled. Any advice or help is appreciated.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      I’m so sorry for not responding earlier. I’ve been so sick about doing taxes and worrying about work and other things.

      I really encourage you to join our FB Group. You will find so much encouragement and solace there, especially through comeraderie of knowing you are not alone, and others truly understand.

      There is no one answer to the issues that face us, but these are the things I have found to be true across the board:
      1) God’s promises are always true, even when it doesn’t appear to be true. They just manifest in ways and times when we don’t expect. He sees the bigger picture, and can bring good out of absolutely anything that the enemy has intended for evil.
      2) God is good – if Satan can get us to question that, we are sunk. If we don’t believe that God is for us, that He desires the best for us, that He is there watching us and actually there in the midst of our pain and sorrow, we will give up hope (which is actually the crux of depression – giving up hope). Remind yourself daily that He is a good God, no matter what circumstances look like.
      3) Watch your expectations and demands of God, family, relationships, work and life, because disappointment is the starting point for depression. Sometimes we have totally unrealistic expectations that are bound not to be met, and then we are crushed when they don’t happen. We then generalize that nothing ever works for us, and build a mountain out of a molehill. It’s not true. Every issue in our life is a SEPARATE issue, and we are neither cursed nor doomed. Just do your best to have realistic expectations of what life truly should be like – not like in the movies or tv.
      4) DON’T ISOLATE YOURSELF. Find people who understand and dump to them. It brings SUCH relief emotionally and psychologically, as most of the world doesn’t understand what we go through and judges/criticizes us. You NEED people around you to support you and gently encourage you to walk THROUGH this and not sit down in the midst of it.

      I hope that helps you somehow. Again, sorry for my very late response!

  3. Rosanne says:

    Have not receive a daily update in a very long time and just wanting to make sure you are ok Penny. Depression is back with a vengeance. Been fighting so many things. Just cking on you Penny.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      Thanks for checking on me. Haven’t had time to write any posts since I got a management position back in September. I’m doing ok with the depression, but still fighting with anxiety and fear. Celebrate Recovery is helping me – making some breakthroughs.

      I’m also active on our Facebook Christian Women With Depression group – that where most of the interaction happens.

      I’m sorry you are struggling hard with the depression and other things right now. The ladies in our group have such a variety of really tough, real life struggles, I never know anything to say except hold on to Jesus. God has made His promises, and it is His job to keep them, but ours to continue to believe them. It’s hard, though, when everything we see seems to point to the idea He doesn’t keep His promises. It is just not always in our time or in a manner we expected.

      I’d love for you to join the FB group if you would be interested. Almost a hundred women on there (not all active) from literally all across the world.

  4. Nicolette says:

    Well, I have suffered from depression all my life, I just don’t break down all that often because I am so stubborn… recently it occurred to me that this might be something I’d have to live with for the rest of my life and that I’d have to overcome every single day and I guess that was comforting, because I personally felt like I’ve spent years trying to get “fixed” and I kept getting broken and wondering why I’d fall apart from time to time- it sucked. So I decided to look for a place where I could get encouragement from other people- who actually understood where I was coming from and didn’t tell me to just “get over it” or “change your thoughts” or “stop being bitter” I don’t know, sometimes it seems like getting depressed as a Christian is a taboo, I come from a family of elders and pastors and well… it’s not easy having anything going on with you like depression, because they don’t understand it and I’m tired of feeling like the freak in the corner… So here I am.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      I am so sorry it took this long to reply to you. I just now saw this comment. Thank you for sharing here. It’s true – others don’t get it when you have depression, just like people without chronic pain cannot understand what it is to endure it.

      Please consider joining us on our Facebook Group Christian Women With Depression. The women are very supportive, and it helps tremendously to have others say they understand.

  5. loves God says:

    I am struggling with verbal abuse coming from my christian pastor, public accusations from him, even pointing of the finger at me during service on more than one occassion. I think that is the worst thing because he is enjoying lording it over me that I can’t seem to defend myself. I think he looked for someone that seemed sensitive in the congregation. Instead of unconditional love and mercy, he used that to feed his own insecurities. What do we do when we did not do anything to offend a pastor yet he enjoys using us as a scapegoat in his sermons. I have even tried sitting elsewhere so he won’t see me, yet he always seems to find me. This is not my imagination. I have prayed about this and I know God is telling me to keep forgiving him. I just don’t know how long I can bear up under this. I too have struggled for years with depression, although there were long periods of time where I was free. What makes some christian leaders turn the knife when they could instead help someone along the way? Has anyone else experienced this?

    • Penny Haynes says:

      I am so sorry that you are experiencing this. If you are in a congregation where a pastor is abusing his power and being cruel to you, I would suggest you leave. It is completely wrong, and there is no reason for it.

      Please go to our Christian Women With Depression group on Facebook and share about this – others have experienced somewhat similar situations, if not this exactly. I believe you will find the encouragement and support you need.

  6. janice yanez says:

    I am not sure if this group is for me. If this is not could suggest one. I was diagnosed with Bipolar disorder about 15 years ago. I have tried committing suicide 3 times. I have been in groups that dont have a clue what depression was. I ended up feeling like I was less then a human.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      Janice, we have many people who struggle with being bipolar in our group. Please join us on Facebook. The link is on the front page of this Web site.

  7. Rosey says:

    Hi Penny: I’ve had ups and downs my entire life, but this time I don’t seem to be able to get ‘up’. I was divorced a year ago from a cruel, insensitive, controlling, very manipulative man. I tolerated this for years, but when I found out he had assaulted my daughter, tried to take advantage of her (putting it nicely), I decided to leave him. Only to find out from him he had been ‘lusting and desiring her’ for years. He was always ‘very friendly’ so I didn’t think much about it. Anyway, I’m on my own now, and I do have the ‘peace of God’ now. But I’m a shy person, very hard to make friends or introduce myself to people. I stay to myself. I pray the Lord will deliver me from this ‘fear of people’, but it has not happened as yet. So I stay to myself, living in a senior complex, not able to make friends. I’m so depressed, but try to hide it from family, who I don’t see much, and church people at church. No one visits me here. I will not take ‘pills or drugs’ for this. I know the Lord can deliver me from this fear, and depression. I’m so lonely. What I should do, be friendly and meet people, I’m not able to do. HELP!!

    • Penny Haynes says:

      Rosey, you are not alone. I deal with women who have been abused, or their children were abused, have been divorced, deal with depression. So many things in life can go horribly wrong. That’s why we need God to get through them. By the way, there is nothing wrong with having to take medicine to get you through a season of depression. If your mind and body can’t cope due to the stress, the medicine calms you down enough to work through the issues. Don’t let anyone put condemnation on you for that – including yourself.

      I REALLY encourage you to join our Facebook Christian Women With Depression group. We have over 500 women there now (although all aren’t active). They encourage one another, share with one another, and it really makes a difference having a place to be real and honest and get everything out. You will really love it there. Please do join.

      https://www.facebook.com/groups/christianwomenwithdepression/

  8. Angel says:

    I am so full of anxiety. It is hard to get out of bed. We just moved. Across the country. I was excited but now that it has happened, I am on the edge. I am trying to pray. Trying to talk to God, but I can’t. I don’t know why. I need Him so badly right now. I am strong for my kids but I can’t shut my mind off. I keep replaying all my fears about what could happen over and over in my head. It’s hard to sleep and the hard to wake. The analytical side of me feels so foolish, weak, and ashamed, but I can’t stop worrying. I want my life back. Will you pray me? I am on my meds. I used to not want meds but they have helped. They don’t take it away but they do take the edge off. Still, I need my Lord, and I don’t know how to get to Him.

    • Penny Haynes says:

      Thank you for sharing your struggle with me. I completely understand. I have been having the sleeping/waking problems myself, so much on my mind. But I think the problem is not that you can’t find God, but that you can’t FEEL God. God is right where He has always been, but you feel disconnected from Him. That is normal. And moves are a high stressor that aggravate issues. Consider joining our private Facebook group. It helps to know you are not alone, and the group really encourages you and lets you share.

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